Life begins at 50

Resigned from P&G

2011-02-19T14:44:00.000-08:00

I have resigned from P&G (handed my notice in on Tuesday 4th January). My last day will be Friday 8th April 2011.

Bletchley tnmoc

2010-10-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

Iceland, Malaysia, Barcelona, Betty and Idris

2010-08-31T05:11:00.000-07:00

Had a great few days in Iceland in February with Sue and Ella (17th to 20th). Shortly after our visit, the dormant volcano at Eyjafjallajokul erupted (April 2010).

Visited Malaysia 2nd to 10th April.

Went to Spain for ten days (21st to 31st July) with Sue, Ella, Dylan, Arren, Charlotte and Vicki.

My Aunty Betty (Mum's sister) passed away in July.

Uncle Idris (Dad's brother) passed in August.

Funeral

2010-03-09T14:02:00.001-08:00

Jim died on the 10th February, we held the funeral on 22nd February

Jim

2010-02-03T12:10:00.001-08:00

Visiting Jim tonight. He's moved to a nursing home in Reading. Bleacher Hall on Bath Road.

NAS - Networked Attached Storage (2)

2010-01-06T11:58:00.001-08:00

The NAS is toast. Somehow a cushion ended up on top of my NAS, making it nice and toasty. The power supply has burnt out (which explains the smell I experienced last night!). I've ordered a recon one (for thirty quid) so that I can recover the data of the Nas's hard drive.

NAS - Networked Attached Storage

2009-09-30T12:57:00.001-07:00

I upgraded my laptop from Vista to Windows 7 (the evaluation version as Win7 is not out yet) and I can no longer see my NAS. I have a Netgear SC101 NAS - which works fine from XP and Vista but not Win7. I've spent ages - modified the registry etc etc but no luck. Guess I'll buy a new NAS after Windows 7 comes out (I'd like to buy one that is guaranteed to work with win 7 and Vista and XP)

Work - two months since last blog

2009-09-16T13:37:00.001-07:00

I don't know what happened to the last two months, but after weeks of agonising I've finally got my head into a better position over my career.
It's been a difficult eight weeks with frequent loss of confidence, something I've never experienced before - and intend never to experience again!

My position at work remains uncertain. Many people have resigned on both sides of the Atlantic. I am grateful to my boss, as her action woke me up. I've been thinking about what I want and come to a realisation that I'd gone to sleep and was literally marking time at work. something I think that happens to a lot of people. I was still turning in good work, but had forgotten to ask myself "what do I want?"

What I want is to run my own business. The next step is to think what and when.

Work is getting me down!

2009-07-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

Had a meeting with my boss today, where she told me that I was rated (appraisal time) "in the danger zone" - which means a rating of "meets expectations" which may become a "not meets expectations" in the current economic climate. I just have to wait for the official rating, next month.

This news is strongly demotivating.

More Swine Flu

2009-07-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

Rita has now gone down with Swine Flu! I still feel fine.

Swine Flu

2009-07-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

Went to Bridge lesson tonight, Gunsell has returned having (almost) recovered from swine flu. He told us that he went down with it a few days after our last lesson (two weeks ago). I went to the pub after with Dylan and Rita.

Star Trek

2009-05-09T15:33:00.000-07:00

Went to see Star Trek tonight, with Ella. We had a meal beforehand, though not in Pizza Express as it was closed because of some problem with the water supply.

I loved the film, a must for fans as it nicely brought all the old characters in as young characters (tag line was something like "the adventure begins"). I must admit I didn't recognise Scotty at first, even the laughter from the audience didn't make the penny drop with me, until I later when he was operating the teleporter.

Bridge at Ebbw Vale

2009-05-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

I went to Ebbw Vale after work on Friday, arrived at 5:45, enough time for something to eat before taking my Father to Bridge at the Ebbw Vale "Learning Action Centre".
http://www.blaenau-gwent.gov.uk/leisure/5099.asp

Then spent Saturday morning on the family tree (Genes Reunited) with my mother.

Home to Reading by 7pm for dinner with Sue, Dylan and Ella. Dylan is home from Salford for Sue's birthday on Monday.

Arren back to Southampton

2009-04-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

Took Arren back to Southampton University today after lunch with Vicky, Arren, Sue and Ella.

Shopping with Ella

2009-04-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

Went shopping with Ella and bought her shoes and a handbag! (well - she paid half towards the bag). Ella likes "dolly shoes" the flat type. Also got two shirts for me.

Genes Reunited

2009-04-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

Started digging into my family tree with Genes Reunited.
Found a fourth cousin that I knew nothing about - who had details about my great, great grandfather.

Cinema with Arren

2009-04-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

Took Arren to cinema to see Grand Torino (Clint Eastwood). Good film, but not as compelling as some reviews suggested.

Visit to EV

2009-04-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Travelled to Ebbw Vale for Easter Monday. Sue did most of the driving as I still didn't feel to good. Dylan and Ella came with us, while Arren went to a gig in Sheffield (The Prodiigy).

Most of the conversation with my parents seem to centre around a planned wall to replace a hedge!

Easter Meal with Jill and Simon

2009-04-12T13:59:00.000-07:00

Had a really nice meal today at Jill's. I was still feeling unwell (some sort of virus which then made my stomach go into overdrive!) so I left early (around 7pm).

Borrowed a DVD from Simon - "The Sweet" a 1970's glam rock band.

Ella home

2009-04-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

Ella home - she got back at Lunchtime after a long journey by bus from France. Only one incident happened on the holiday - she fell off the drag lift and the instructor told her to wait for him and then forgot her!

Devon

2009-04-09T13:13:00.000-07:00

Visited Devon on a day trip today and had lunch at Sandy Park Inn. I had a duck salad - delicious.

London - Natural History Museum and Theatre

2009-04-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

Visited the Natural History museum in London to see the Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition exhibition (run jointly by BBC Wildlife Magazine and the Museum). This was an inspirational exhibition with many remarkable photographs. Sue loved on called "Polar sunrise" which showed a polar bear backlit by the first rays of sunlight. I liked the "clash of eagles" where two white-tailed eagles fight in a snowstorm. This was taken at 1,000 sec with a long lens (500mm). The most popular camera seemed to be the Canon EOS 40D (10meg).

My favourite was "Orcas at sunset"; three fins sticking out of the water at sunset. The water looks captivating.

After the museum, we went to Leicester Square and bought reduced price tickets to see "Entertaining Mr Sloane"
with Imelda Staunton at the Trafalgar Studio theatre. Tickets were from LondonTheatreBookings.com.

Visit to Kent

2009-04-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

Visited Jim with Dylan, Charlotte and Sue. I started the day in a bad mood, especially as we left later than planned (around 10am) and forgot to take the pizzas, sue had bought for our lunch.

Arrived at 1pm, Sue took a wrong turn after Ashford (we switched drivers at the Clacket Lane service station and I went to sleep!). Asha is back, and Tony, Calluma nd Franncesca were already there. Jim made us coffee while I let Poppy into the back garden to chase Lulu. After a coffee I took Sue to Sainsbury's to buy more lunch and some vitamin C for Jim. His white blood count is too low for him to continue with the Chemo.

After lunch we chatted, then Dylan suggested a walk with F&C to the beach.

Holiday at home - two weeks over Easter

2009-04-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday and it's the first day of my two week holiday. We walked Poppy together in the morning. Dylan arrived from Salford University in the afternoon. In the evening I went to the cinema with Sue to see SlumDog millionaire.

A teenager who grew up in the slums, becomes a contestant on the Indian version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" and is arrested under suspicion of cheating.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1571460352/tt1010048

Ella goes skiing

2009-04-03T05:10:00.000-07:00

Ella went on a school trip today - skiing in France for a week.

Jim and Asha

2009-03-22T13:44:00.001-07:00

Jim and Asha had an argument last night which resulted in Asha travelling to her daughter's house in London today. While this was clearly Jim's fault, I find myself feeling sorry for him. It seems he's getting a rough deal, now living alone with cancer.

Jim has recently reduced his drinking and cut back to two whisky's a night (reduced from the 500ml of scotch that he was consuming). Possibly this, and the pain from the cancer has made him more irratble than usual (and he's easily irritated, even on a good day).

Jim on chemo

2009-03-19T14:19:00.001-07:00

Jim's doing well with his chemo. He started last Friday (13th March) and he's taken to the first lot with no hiccups.
Sue was talking to him on the phone tonight - he has an appointment with the Oncologist on Friday 27th.

Sunday at Ebbw Vale

2009-03-08T13:47:00.001-07:00

I visited Mam and Dad today. Drove down with Ella and arrived at 10:30, in time for tea and toast before setting to some repairs. Ella fixed Grandad's mobile and I looked at their telephone answering machine. Dad is playing Bridge Friday's with Michael Crump. We played a few hands after lunch, Ella has recently learned the basics. Both Mam and Dad looked well (Mam is 77 this year).

Jim with cancer

2009-03-07T12:36:00.001-08:00

Visited Ashford hospital yesterday with Sue and my father-in-law, Jim, who was told that he has lung cancer. Jim was born in 1935 and has smoked for most of his life. He has small cell lung cancer and is considering chemotherapy - a mixture of carboplatin and etoposide.

He was finding the walking around the hospital tiring, and was clearly in a awful lot of pain every time he coughed. The hospital registrar was clearly surprised when Jim owned up to drinking a half bottle of whisky a day. He added thoughtfully, "I dilute it with a lot of water".

Beaufort Arms

2009-01-24T14:05:00.001-08:00

I visited Ebbw Vale today and drove passed the Beaufort Arms (pictured below). My father had told me that it was not open and "boarded up", though it looked open (sort of). I don't know how many pubs have closed in EV - but was told that the Rhyd has gone bust

Rugby at Cardiff

2008-11-08T16:46:00.001-08:00

I went to see Wales play South Africa today at the Millenium Stadium, Cardiff.
Good match with the final score 15 - 20. The tickets were 50 quid and we went by train (Reading to Cardiff) which also cost 50 quid! The train was packed, with people having to stand in the aisles for the entire journey (over one and a half hours).

http://www.millenniumstadium.com/197_211.php

There's a great atmosphere at live matches, though the televised matches are so good that I missed the commentary. Quite a few people paid 5 quid for a referees radio - maybe I ought to try that next time.

Partisan remarks about how the Boks withstood the late onslaught from Wales here:
http://southafricanrugby.blogspot.com/

Work Life Balance - Part Deux

2008-11-07T13:50:00.001-08:00

What happened to the last three months? Well my work life balance "seesaw" went down hard on the work side. Then last week I took a one week holiday with the family - and went to Rome (more about that later).

So now I'm changing my role at work and refocussing.

It's great - I'm starting to think about what to do with my evenings (I've been working most evenings over the last three months).

Hopefully I'll also start writing again too.

Work Life Balance

2008-07-29T14:45:00.001-07:00

Back to work today after a long weekend (I took Friday and Monday as holiday). My question is: How do you maintain a work life balance? From the employers perspective this becomes: Developing work-life policies that will ensure employees deliver ‘the best’ in a competitive market.

What's it from the employees perspective and more importantly from my point of view?

I go through phases of throwing all my energy into work, I then work late and often start working again after dinner and late into the night. This is fine in short bursts, the problem I find is that as you get tired, your judgement becomes clouded and you focus more and more on work. So, what do we want from life and does all this work give fulfilment? How do we deliver "our best" at home and continue to survive within a competitive market?

Here's a link to some good advice:
http://schooloflux.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/achieving-worklife-balance

Tree Felling

2008-07-25T15:55:00.001-07:00

I think the machine in the photograph is called a forwarder ("Cut logs are removed from the forest by vehicles called forwarders" http://www.forestry.gov.uk/forestry/infd-5nmc8e). I came across this hulking great thing today in Sulham Woods, walking Poppy.

I've had a rant (with the family) about all this tree felling. Apparently it's to get rid of foreign trees (weeds, I guess). My question is about the definition of foreign - how far back in history do you go to decide what is "supposed" to live in the woods. I think we often forget what evolution means - things change and this change is usually beyond our control. So at present the peace and calm of Sulham Woods is disturbed by these beasts and the enormous muddy tracks they leave behind (will these tracks be removed when they've finished? I hope so).

Cinema

2008-07-24T16:02:00.001-07:00

I took my sons to the cinema tonight. We went to see The Dark Knight (a new Batman movie).
Great film! It's interesting how you can take a well known story and improve upon it by strong characterisation and great acting. The ending is heavily messianic (or should that be sacrificial?) and changes the batman character from a dark brooding persona into a truly poignant hero.

Some interestring trivia from imdb.com "To prepare for his role as the Joker, Heath Ledger
lived alone in a hotel room for a month, formulating the character's
psychology, posture and voice. He started a diary, in which he wrote the Joker's thoughts and
feelings to guide himself during his performance. Ledger also took inspiration from A Clockwork Orange."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468569/trivia

Meal Out at The Cunning Man

2008-07-23T16:28:00.001-07:00

I'm taking a long weekend off work and tomorrow is my last day until Tuesday! Came home and felt like doing something, so asked Sue and Ella if they wanted to go out for dinner. A simple question, "but what about Poppy?" was Sue's reply. So we went to the Cunning Man as this has a garden where we can take our dog and its next to a canal, so we had a short walk after the meal.

Why is it that going out (or on holiday) becomes a logistic nightmare? By the time everyone is taken into account we often end up staying at home. We still haven't booked a holiday for this year, but more about that later.

My dog

2008-07-21T14:50:00.001-07:00

Have you tried hiding from a dog, behind a tree? You can't look out (I've tried that and the dog spots you straight away), so you have to stay there and listen. You might consider edging around the tree, to keep hidden. My dog will make a dash for the tree and catch me out, usually darting from the opposite direction in which I'm looking. She's also started hiding behind trees and watching me while I throw her a stick, then she races out and pounces on the stick, maybe wishing it were a rabbit.

Squash

2008-07-19T12:35:00.001-07:00

I've just taken up squash with my sons. Sues's not to sure about me playing an intensive game with a twenty year old, following pretty much no activity at all. During the first game, I couldn't breathe and my head felt as if someone had wrapped a towel around it - thick and fuzzy. Today's game was much better - with two new rackets, it's my third game and perhaps I'm getting fitter?
I'm certainly getting a buzz out of winning. After all, both boys can thrash me at most sports - I've only squash and badminton left.

So I'm now sitting here after dinner, my legs and back aching and that quiet feeling you get after sport and a shower. Sue has just announced that she's bored. Why is it that just as I feel content (and knackered) she is bored? Sometimes I feel that partners share in a feeling, but that one gets the neagative side when the other gets the positive, like as if there's so much Karma to share out between the two of you.

Funerals

2008-06-28T14:38:00.001-07:00

Pat died last week (Thursday 19th June) and I went to her funeral a few days ago (Thursday 26th). She would have been fifty in August. Most days we focus on how we feel and what needs to be done (shopping, work, DIY, what's on tele, booking a holiday, visiting relatives). Fortunately, it's rare to stop and contemplate the end of life and when a friend dies you inevitably think about yourself whilst telling yourself you really should focus on them. Having said that, I can't stop thinking about Pat. She celebrated new years eve with us and was so full of life. She died of cancer. I was fine in the church, until I turned around to see her son and his cousins carrying the coffin. He's twenty and a good friend of my son, they are both planning on going to University later this year, in Manchester. I started to cry and noticed my wife was failing to hold back the tears. We held each other as the coffin was carried to the altar. We both realised how lucky we are to have each other, no words were needed. We both vowed to live for each day though we never spoke. Later that evening we were quietly grateful and respectful. It won't last. Life goes on. We are impatient and irritable. We often forget how precious life is. It's readily spent with little to show. Life doesn't begin at fifty at all. It begins today, and every day.

Longest day

2008-06-21T14:49:00.001-07:00

I've just returned from restaurant. I had a meal out with my wife. Saturday night on the longest day, which was nice as it was light until late evening (light until 10pm). There's something magical about light evenings. I got up, this morning at dawn (4:30am), to take my son and his girlfriend to the airport, so it feels like a long day.

Perfection is an Illusion

2008-06-17T15:24:00.001-07:00

As I watched my daughter draw, she complained that her drawing was poor (she's 12 years old). I started to think that she was lucky that she thought it poor as this critical ability enables us to improve. What happens when you don't think your drawing is poor? When you actually think its good? Where do you go from there? Perhaps it is good, but how would you know for sure? The fact is, that if you cannot see anyway to improve it, then it's "perfect". So, perfection is a perception brought about by your state of development or growth, and perfection means the end of progress. It's the final stop on your journey. Now, I beleive in continual development or improvement. So from this it follows that I cannot believe in perfection. Perfection is an illusion brought about by maturity as you stop growing. I also beleive in being satisfied. I get irritated by "nit picking". How can you be satisfied if nothing is perfect? Easy, you accept "good enough". It helps you sleep at night.

Work

2008-06-16T06:25:00.001-07:00

I remember my Grandmother telling me that as you got older time passed quicker. This was interesting when I was ten as at that age time often stretched out in front of me. A day could be a long time. A year was a lifetime.

Today, in work, a day is never enough time to complete even a few tasks. I wrote down two things "to do" this morning, both urgent. So many meetings and interruptions later that it now looks as if one of these things will have to be done this evening.

Why can't we work in work?

First post

2008-06-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

Does life end? Does life begin at fifty, if so when does it end? I'm forty eight (well almost). I have a family, a job and a dog. This is my story.